Cleaning the carpets

Don't you just hate it when that happens.
You know.
It's Saturday morning and you really need 15 litres of fresh, wet, warm cow poop, and you cant find any anywhere.
Man, I hate it when that happens.

We normally have so much fresh cow poop you have to skirt around it.
Well. Saturday I had to walk for 35 minutes to get enough to do the floors.

We needed to re-dung our floors as the dust was getting pretty bad in the house.
We had been putting it off for quite a while (oddly, it wasn't difficult letting "rub fresh cow shit into your floor by hand" slip to the back of the chore list)

Our neighbour, Nonezile (non-neh-zee-leh)kindly showed us the ropes as we broke into virgin territory.

Once we had collected about 15 litres of cowshite (wet, very fresh, no crust)
All we needed was water to add.



I kept waiting for the secret ingredient.
There was none.

Basically you dump a bucket of fresh cow and bull dump into the middle of your floor.
Add a whole lot of water.
Get your hands dirty turning it into sludge. (I believe sewage farms use the term "slurry")
Then you get down on your knees and smear away.



The technique (in case you want to try this at home kids, don't ask permission first)is really about keeping it wet and slurry like, and using the edge of your little finger and the edge of your palm as a squeegee.



Remember when you were a kid and you went for aswim in the pool in the dark alone.
Of course there wasn't a shark in the pool.
But.
In that one James Bond movie they press a button and the pool has a secret door that lets in a shark.
So you laugh at yourself, but your heart speeds up a dash, and you get out quickly, and tell yourself it is simply because you don't want to miss Magnum PI.

Well, halfway through mixing everything with your hands, you have the following unavoidable thought process.
"I know I collected all the poop myself"
"It was all definitely cow poop"
"I definitely didn't get any human poop by accident"
"80 percent of the village poops in the bush and grass"
"I wonder what time Magnum PI starts out here"
"I wonder what higgins will be p to this week"

For about 30 minutes it smells like a cow shat in your lounge.
Then it smells sweet and rich and reminds you of horses and summer and clover.
Honest

And it is soft well insulated.

And free.

And it only took us about 20 minutes. And that my friends is quicker than a vacume.

Goose, Freckles and Snuffles

Our chicken experience was going to be as follows:

On Tuesday (2 days) we receive chicken wire, poles, wood, roofing.
I have chosen a really good spot a chicken run, including a nice coop, allowing easy access to collect eggs.
I would put the word out that I wanted 4 hens and a rooster.
I would then select premium stock.
We would keep them confined to the run for about a week, and then let them out sometime around 11am each morning once they have laid their eggs.
They would range free all day, digging and scratching around to their hearts content, sometimes followed by a few baby chicks.
At night they would come in to roost.

Our actual chicken experience was ----------------------------------------------------------7612777777777777777777723333333333333333333333333333333333aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(Sorry, the above was the kitten walking across my keyboard - no kidding)

Anyway, back to our actual experience as follows:

The kids and I arrive back from seeing Sonja off (she is off to JHB for three days)to find a white fertilizer sack with three semi live chickens inside. They have their feet tied and are bundled on top of one another.

.

The top one looks alive. I am not sure about the bottom two.



Our neighbour has walked half the day to get them for us, So I can hardly say no can I? I pay her the R50 she tells me is the price per hen(This is about 40% more than a frozen broiler form the supermarket)

I have no fencing, no poles, no chicken food, no plan.
I have three gasping, dying chickens, and three freaking out kids.

I stay calm and have a cup of coffee.

I decide that I obviously need to get them into a holding cell for three days until I can get a coop built.

My ideas of a picture perfect coop go out the window.
I get the canopy off my bakkie (pick-up)
Bang together a few bits of scrap wood and rusted wire I find thrown away.
And put together the ugliest chicken run in the world.
I want to scream out to everyone that it is only temporarily



We get all three out of the bag and into their temp home.
We get them plenty of water and I manage to bum a bag of chicken feed from David, down at the lodge.

I get my first decent look at them, and honestly. They all fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
They are so shocking, they are kind of creepy.



Of course, the kids adore them.

All three are instantly named.
Skye chooses one and names it Freckles
Mila goes with the big, John Cleese looking one and calls it Goose
Caleb names the dark one Snuffles (which is vaguely funny, as in Snuffed, died, killed)

I have to promise solemnly that I cannot kill any of their birds without asking first.
Mila and Skye inform me that I will never kill either Freckles or Goose.
Caleb is pretty open to the practicalities of farming.
You can kill mine, he informs me.
Good chap.

But to tell the truth, they are so freaky and weird looking.
I could never eat any of them.

Mila is busy negotiating that "babies" fall under the same protection.
Not to worry, I am not spreading these genes any further.

Next trip to town I am buying 6 Rhode Island Reds, and a grand rooster.