Seven Degrees of Separation (Of dirt from your body)

Putting on my two day old socks this morning and not having bathed for three days, I thought a good point of departure was to share some of our personal hygiene tips.
With very little water, and no shower, here are our Seven Degrees of Cleanliness. These are various options that are availble to us, dependent on time, water availability and our general state of sanity at the point in time.
First Degree -Yhhughh. You just peel off clothes get into bed.Sticky, and uncomfortable.
Second Degree - Spray and brush. To trick your mind, and your bed partner and to create a feeling of being clean, spray on deodorant and brush teeth.
Third Degree - Baby wipes (wet wipes)- you can create a fair impression of feeling clean, and thus sleeping comfortably by concentrating on your face, back of neck, inside of elbows, hands, nether regions, back of knees, and between your toes. You will go through about eight wipes. Don't examine after use.
Fourth Degree - Top and Tail. Quick and and be done indoors when the wind is howling or the rain is pouring. Spread towel on floor, put 10 centimeters (4 inches) of warm water in a plastic tub. Wash, strictly in the following order: face, hands, armpits, squat uncomfortably, glancing over at curtainless window, wash and rinse nether regions, and finally finish off with feet. make sure you throw the water out or the kids might mistake it for the dish washing tub. Unlikely to get a foot massage that evening.
Fifth Degree - Bucket bath. Needs to be done outside. Gets cold in winter, and the wind shrinks and raises various body parts accordingly. With this system you run two main risks, your wife sneaking photo's to post on the blog, and somewhat surprised villagers passing you in the dark and calling out a warm greeting from 10 paces, intrigued by your illuminated white buttocks and your middle age spread. Fill plastic tub with four litres of cold water and two litres of boiled water. Stand in tub naked. Use a plastic jug to pour water over yourself, doing your best to get the water to land back in the tub. Soap vigourously. Repeat to clean off. Allows for shampoo if required. Make haste. Keep your eyes peeled.
Shooting stars are a bonus, and the sound of waves dull the shock of our neighbouring widow eyeing you in the dark.
Sixth Degree - Rocket shower with kids. Pack shower kit and towels and pajama's for the whole family and then trapse down the hill to the lodge for a 20 litre hot shower, with all three children moaning and groaning. If run with military precision and military barking, you can get three kids and one adult wet, lathered, scrubbed and rinsed, before the 20 litres runs out. This is a treat to enjoy two or three times per week. On the down side, you can never really acomplish this without soap in at least one childs eyes, kids screaming, pushing and fighting, crying about who is or isn't rotating to allow all of you a few moments under the water, and worst of all, trapsing back up a very steep hill with three ratty kids, in the cold and dark. Cleanliness - high. Enjoyment - low.
Seventh Degree - Nirvana. You have a 20 litre shower to yourself. Five minutes of pure indulgence. Possibly a treat you have once per month. Ps - Don't swallow the water or you will get a stomache bug